Loss

For my friends who read these words, don't be alarmed. I'm working through things.

For those who reads these words and have neither a care nor an interest in my life: I don' t know you. I don't share in your days, I don' t experience your life except in passing. But here in this moment I truly care for you.
We live very separate existences you and I, but we are united by bonds of kinship stronger than we let on. Society has taught us to wall ourselves off from the world in order to spare the pain of life and its myriad aches.
I have lost.
My loss is no greater than yours, only I can feel it. I am the master of my own pain and I wouldn't wish it on anyone. It is mine and I revel in it. It strengthens me and shapes me. Without this pain I am a ship adrift with no wind in the sails. The wind has been taken from my sails for the moment, but I know that I will continue traveling. Though my course will be  unknown, I will travel.
I wish to share my travels through life with you. In this moment, at this time, we all feel for someone or something. I want to laugh with you. I want to share a moment in each others eyes. I want to love you and I want to be loved by you.
There is no greater burden on life than the capacity to feel for others. Sharing the burden with those closest to me makes me feel weak and pathetic. A frail thing that needs the shoulders of others to cry on to feel validated. In return for the love you give to me I offer my shoulder. I will carry your burdens as well as my own that we may walk through life together. And though our company may part, a piece of you goes with me.
I feel lost. Yet I don't walk the path alone.