Joke
Joke inside, carefull it might hurt you.
posted by 8-bird at Friday, March 17, 2006
3 comments
Farwell 6th north
Jon, Jared, Brandon, Nate, Drew, Brad, Tim, Dan, Phil, Adam F., Adam J., Andy, Dustin
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3 Comments:
After every flight, Qantas pilots fill out a form, called a "gripe sheet," which tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft. The mechanics correct the problems; document their repairs on the form, and then pilots review the gripe sheets before the next flight. Never let it be said that ground crews lack a sense of humor. Here are some actual maintenance complaints submitted by Qantas' pilots (marked with a P) and the solutions recorded (marked with an S) by maintenance engineers.
By the way, Qantas is the only major airline that has never, ever, had an accident.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.
P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.
P: Something loose in cockpit.
S: Something tightened in cockpit.
P: Dead bugs on windshield.
S: Live bugs on back-order.
P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent.
S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.
P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
S: Evidence removed.
P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
S: DME volume set to more believable level.
P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
S: That's what friction locks are for.
P: IFF inoperative in OFF mode.
S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.
P: Suspected crack in windshield.
S: Suspect you're right.
P: Number 3 engine missing.
S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.
P: Aircraft handles funny.
S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious.
P: Target radar hums.
S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.
P: Mouse in cockpit.
S: Cat installed.
And the best one for last.
P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding on something with a hammer.
S: Took hammer away from midget
Got another one for you, not really a joke, but one I thought was appropriate for this crew:
HEALTH WARNING - WATER
IT HAS BEEN SCIENTIFICALLY PROVEN THAT IF WE DRINK 1 LITRE OF WATER EACH
DAY, AT THE END OF THE YEAR WE WOULD HAVE ABSORBED MORE THAN 1 KILO OF
ESCHERICHIA COLI BACTERIA FOUND IN FECES, IN OTHER WORDS, WE ARE
CONSUMING 1 KILO OF SHIT.
HOWEVER, WE DO NOT RUN THAT RISK WHEN DRINKING WHISKEY, RUM, BEER OR
OTHER LIQUORS BECAUSE ALCOHOL HAS TO GO THROUGH A DISTILLATION PROCESS
OF BOILING, FILTERING AND FERMENTING.
IT IS MY DUTY TO COMMUNICATE TO ALL OF YOU PEOPLE WHO ARE DRINKING
WATER, TO STOP DOING SO, IT HAS BEEN SCIENTIFICALLY PROVEN THAT IT IS
UNHEALTHY AND BAD FOR YOU.
FREE YOURSELF OF SHIT, DRINK ALCOHOL!!! IT IS BETTER TO DRINK ALCOHOL
AND TALK SHIT THAN TO DRINK WATER AND BE FULL OF SHIT!
http://www.toothpastefordinner.com/062205/circle-work.gif
makes me laugh....
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